Gaslit?

I hear the term “gaslighting” constantly and like many other terms (“narcissism”, anyone?) it’s used incorrectly. To gaslight someone is to intentionally make them question their sense of reality, ultimately for the purpose of controlling them. The term originates from the 1944 movie, Gaslight, in which the male character purposely turns down...

Feb 2023

Gaslit?

I hear the term “gaslighting” constantly and like many other terms (“narcissism”, anyone?) it’s used incorrectly. To gaslight someone is to intentionally make them question their sense of reality, ultimately for the purpose of controlling them. The term originates from the 1944 movie, Gaslight, in which the male character purposely turns down...

Feb 2023

How To Stop Arguing About Chores!

Several studies suggest that women take on the majority of the workload in the home, even when both partners are working full-time. This is due to several factors: Women think they can “do it all” Women are often more particular than men about cleanliness Women think men are going to screw it up Women feel guilty if they don’t caretake their family...

Nov 2017

Pornography: Is It Good Or Bad?

Not an easy question!  Is it good or bad? Is it causing harm to couples? Is it cheating? First, let’s tackle the “good or bad” question. It can be both! Why It’s Bad From my reading, it seems that excessive porn use outside of an intimate relationship seems to be bad for three main reasons: It can create sexual desensitization, possibly...

Nov 2016

Sexual Resource List – Updated!

GENERAL The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction (http://www.indiana.edu/~kinsey/index.html): No list would be complete without this classic. Founded by pioneer sexologist Alfred Kinsey, the Kinsey Institute supports interdiscipinary research in the study of human sexuality. Kinsey Confidential™ (http://www.kinseyconfidential.org):...

May 2015

Sexual Communication Tips

Sex is one of the most difficult topics for couples to discuss. Yet, good sexual communication will not only enhance your love life, it will enhance your relationship! Having trouble talking about sex? You aren’t alone. Common Obstacles: The belief that talking about sex is vulgar. The fix: Vulgarity is in the eye of the beholder. Isn’t it time to let...

May 2015

The Dangers of Valium and Xanax

There are many things you can try before relying on benzodiazepines to treat your anxiety: psychotherapy, exercise, acupuncture and hypnosis. Psychotherapy in particular, can be a very effective way of addressing your anxiety. So, rather than immediately turn to a pill that can be addictive, why not try some of these other methods first? Below is an...

May 2015

10 Steps to Good Self Care

THE PHYSICAL 1. Have a balanced diet; avoid tobacco and processed foods; avoid excessive alcohol or caffeine consumption. – Maintain your weight at a level that is healthy and feels good to you. 2. Exercise 3 – 5 times per week, both aerobically and with weights. 3. Get adequate sleep and rest. The amount differs per person. If you are sleepy...

May 2015

Recommended Sexual Information Websites

GENERAL • The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction (http://www.indiana.edu/~kinsey/index.html): No list would be complete without this classic. Founded by pioneer sexologist Alfred Kinsey, the Kinsey Institute supports interdiscipinary research in the study of human sexuality. • Dr. Ruth (http://www.drruth.com): this site is...

May 2015

10 Ways To Excellent Couples Communication

Be a good listener. Focus on what your partner is saying, and then repeat it back to them to assure them it was heard correctly. Be interested in your partner. Try to understand them and learn what makes them tick. Be tolerant of differences and learn to compromise. You don’t need to agree on everything; it’s more important to be happy than to be “right.” When...

May 2015