Hyperbole and a Half

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Richard

(AUTHOR NOTE: My publisher told me I could post a chapter from the new book. There were 25 chapters to choose from, but I chose this one. Because I wanted to give you a love letter. And it seemed like the most appropriate love letter to give you would be an extremely indirect one that screams, "DO NOT FEEL SCARED—I AM JUST INTERACTING WITH YOU!!")  ...

Announcement

 Hello. This is an announcement. Out of all the places I could have put an announcement, I will admit that it probably doesn't make the most logistical sense to put it here. If I'd had the opportunity to put it somewhere that makes more sense for announcing things, such as Facebook or Twitter, I promise you I would have done that. However—and please...

Don't get excited, this is just an update...

I've been getting lots of emails with subject lines like "R U dead???" and "POST SOMETHING MOTHERF*CKER!"  and "Wheeeerrrrrree aaaaaarrrrrrrre yyyooooooouuuuu???"I've been posting updates on Twitter, but Twitter is stupid and soulless and many of you (understandably) don't use it, so I thought it would be prudent to give you guys an update here as well....

Menace

Power is intoxicating. Everyone loves having the ability to make their decisions into reality — to think "this should be something that happens," and then actually be able to make that thing happen.  It is also dangerous.  And it is especially dangerous when applied to four-year-olds.  Four-year-olds lack the experience to wield power responsibly....

Depression Part Two

I remember being endlessly entertained by the adventures of my toys. Some days they died repeated, violent deaths, other days they traveled to space or discussed my swim lessons and how I absolutely should be allowed in the deep end of the pool, especially since I was such a talented doggy-paddler. I didn't understand why it was fun for me,...

Pre-Post Transition Post

This isn't a real post. I'm going to post the real post tomorrow. But it feels like there should be some sort of intermediate thing to prepare everyone for the abrupt change of speed ahead. Here's a picture of an airplane. I realize that airplanes don't look like that, but this has been a hard year for me and learning how to draw planes accurately...

Adventures in Depression

Some people have a legitimate reason to feel depressed, but not me. I just woke up one day feeling sad and helpless for absolutely no reason. It's disappointing to feel sad for no reason. Sadness can be almost pleasantly indulgent when you have a way to justify it - you can listen to sad music and imagine yourself as the protagonist in a...

:D

Guess what? ... I'm writing a book. With pages! And there will be pictures on the pages. And words. And maybe the pages will be really aerodynamic or something. I haven't really decided what all of the hi-tech features are going to be yet. It's tough to choose. Anyway, I've been wanting to tell you guys about this for a very, very long...

Wild Animal (The Simple Dog Goes for a Joy Ride)

My simple-minded dog recently went on an unplanned adventure. Because the simple dog is so very simple, her adventure was alarming and horrible for everyone involved.   Even in her normal, familiar environment, the simple dog exists in a state of almost constant confusion.  She also appears to have very little control over what she...

The Scariest Story

There was a short period of my early life that was punctuated by truly unfortunate nightmares. I'd go to sleep feeling safe and warm.  Then I'd awaken several hours later and somehow be completely convinced that my closet was inhabited by fire monsters.  I'd flee to my parents' room because, like most six-year-olds,  I believed that...

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