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Turn About

After 20 years of doing my laundry at home, I found myself, with the move 2 years ago, being forced to use a laundromat once again. (huge sigh) It’s not like I don’t enjoy shelling out $50 per month to wash my clothes in machines reeking of Downy Ultra Infusions (damn them to hell!). Ok, it is exactly like that. But at least I have the best laundromat...

Shadowy Figures

Things have been so weird here. Our town was partly destroyed by fire. We were under a blanket of heavy smoke for 2 weeks. Schools have been closed since December 5 and will remain closed until January 7 (I KNOW, RIGHT, PARENTS! THE HORROR). Parks and parking lots are closed due to fire or to being used as staging areas for fire personnel and electric...

Late last night when we were all in bed

I have been staying in a hotel since Monday. What day is it now? I’m starting to feel like Joan Didion, who used to check into the Beverly Hilton indefinitely to write. If I stay any longer, I may have to take up smoking, being thin, and writing well. On Monday night, I was at my mom’s place to meet her new helper, Jennifer, who started her shift at...

Si se puede, or Some Things You Can Do

If you’re like me, the current political situation gets you blue. But there are things we can do, yes there are! It’s Giving Tuesday, and there are more ways to give than money (though money is important, too). Let’s get busy creating networks and vibrant communities, shall we? Here are my suggestions: Subscribe to a local newspaper and a national...

Bits

It was Lucky Laundry Night and I got thirsty at the laundromat, so I went to the liquor store to get some water. Every liquor store around here, it seems, is owned and operated by Syrians. I took the bottle up to the counter to pay. “Do you have bits?” the clerk asked. Bits? I looked down at the two dollar bills in my hand, confused. Was he doing...

Unstuck

The end of days are hard. My mom wants to die. Asks why she is not gone yet. Asks why things are taking so long. She says she wants to be with dad. She calls out to my sister “Laura, how do I do this?” But then she loops back and perks up and chats and tells stories, just like always. She’s unstuck from the everyday world, though. She doesn’t know...

Somewhat Thankful

I decided to skip a Thanksgiving celebration with my kind friend Patti and go to Mom’s instead. I figured I would not be much fun, and this plan had the added benefit of giving mom’s helper the afternoon off to have Thanksgiving with her family – a well-deserved treat. Since she got sicker, Mom has been getting her meals on a tray. Today she decided...

Believing Women

  A woman will lie about anything, just to stay in practice. Phillip Marlowe I’m watching all of the sexual harassment news. Each day another wave of shitty male behavior comes crashing down. The pool is so large now that it might be easier to remember who hasn’t been accused than who has. Meanwhile, my mom is having a medical crisis. In short,...

All I Wanted Was a Butter Dish

Thrift stores seem to attract the crazy, and the one closest to my house (I can see it from my house. Urban living is cool!) comes with an extra special dose of crazy because it supports a cat shelter. Not an animal shelter. A cat shelter. And, as we all know, cat people are stone cold crazy. It’s a good thrift store, though. Oddly, they seem to get...

14 Ways to Cook a Turkey*

 Put it in the oven and forget to take out the plastic giblet bag. 2. Deep fry it and set the garage on fire. 3. Put it in a flimsy aluminum pan from the grocery store and dump the whole thing on the floor (In which Shane faffs around with the turkey and doesn’t get to dropping it until 2:40 into the video, but it is kind of saved by cute accents....

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