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Is your SQL Server installation old enough to go to high school? We need to talk

Join us and Pure Storage online to find out how to pay back borrowed time Webcast  You’re not wearing cargo shorts, velour tracksuits, or Matrix trench coats anymore, so why on Earth would you be running SQL Server 2008?…

Christmas comes early for chameleons: SUSE feels jolly after closing Rancher deal

Kubernetes, Kubernetes, how shalt I manage thou, Kubernetes? SUSE has finalised its purchase of Kubernetes management specialist Rancher Labs as industry talk of an impending IPO for the Linux veteran circulates.…

Whoa BlackBerry: Firm hooks up with AWS on cloud telematics platform for vehicle data

Ivy league data inhalation as BB vows to grass on teen drivers BlackBerry has inked a deal with AWS to develop and sell the IVY intelligent vehicle data platform just months after it largely blamed a revenue drop in its software and services segment on the slowdown in the automotive market.…

Oracle upgrades MySQL with an analytics speed boost albeit only in the Big Red cloud

You're tired of best-of-breed databases, apparently Oracle has upgraded the online analytical processing capabilities of its MySQL database, but only if you run it in the Oracle cloud.…

Four or so things we found interesting about Qualcomm's Snapdragon 888, its latest 5G chip for high-end Androids

Samsung 5nm, Cortex-X1, integrated... wait, let's not give it all away Qualcomm this week unveiled the Snapdragon 888, its latest flagship system-on-chip destined to power next year's top-end Android smartphones.…

75% of databases to be cloud-hosted by 2022, says Gartner while dishing on the weak points of each provider

AWS 'reluctant to embrace a multicloud world' but Azure 'often more expensive than on-premises' Databases are moving to the cloud but Azure is expensive, Google has suspect support, and AWS is blinkered about multicloud, Gartner has observed in its latest Magic Quadrant.…

Microsoft celebrates undead MS Paint with festive knitwear

Did someone mention multithreading? Microsoft has once again unleashed some iffy knitwear on the world with an MS Paint-themed sweater to ring in the festive season.…

Glastonbury hippy shop Hemp in Avalon rapped for spouting 'plandemic' pseudoscience

WAKE UP, SHEEPLE! You'd think the new-age hippies behind a shop called "Hemp in Avalon" would be a bit more groovy about the state we find ourselves in – but no, ads run by the biz came straight outta unhinged conspiracyville.…

Sod Crysis, can the 21-year-old Power Mac G4 Cube run Minecraft? The answer is yes

But it's hacks all the way down You've heard the phrase "can it run Crysis?" Few have asked, however, "can it run Minecraft?"…

Bristol's bus stops can run Chrome and Internet Explorer, but no, Windows and public transport do not mix well

Bus stop / Bus goes / What's crashed? / Windows Bork!Bork!Bork!  A welcome return for an old favourite in today's serving of Bork. No matter how oddly shaped the screen, Windows will always find a way to throw up an error.…

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