The Onion

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Zoologists Thrilled After Successfully Getting Pair Of Bengal Tigers To 69 In Captivity

If you have a question you would like to ask Leslie about the news or the show, use #LesliesMailSack to ask in the comments and your question could be answered live on-air! Listen to The Topical: https://link.chtbl.com/TheTopical Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion ...

Bee, Man Allergic To Bees Found Dead In Apparent Murder-Suicide

If you have a question you would like to ask Leslie about the news or the show, use #LesliesMailSack to ask in the comments and your question could be answered live on-air! Listen to The Topical: https://link.chtbl.com/TheTopical Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion ...

The Onion Reviews ‘Mulan’

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New Identification App Lets Hikers Categorize All Corpses They Encounter On Nature Trail

If you have a question you would like to ask Leslie about the news or the show, use #LesliesMailSack to ask in the comments and your question could be answered live on-air! Listen to The Topical: https://link.chtbl.com/TheTopical Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion ...

Severely Injured Woman Heroically Fights Off Paramedics Trying To Force Her Into Medical Debt

If you have a question you would like to ask Leslie about the news or the show, use #LesliesMailSack to ask in the comments and your question could be answered live on-air! Listen to The Topical: https://link.chtbl.com/TheTopical Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow...

NASA Announces Plans To Launch Chimpanzee Into Sun

If you have a question you would like to ask Leslie about the news or the show, use #LesliesMailSack to ask in the comments and your question could be answered live on-air! Listen to The Topical: https://link.chtbl.com/TheTopical Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow...

Nation’s CEOs Sign Pledge To Continue F**king Over Americans

If you have a question you would like to ask Leslie about the news or the show, use #LesliesMailSack to ask in the comments and your question could be answered live on-air! Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion ...

Prison Guards Gun Down Inmate Trying To Escape Jail Through Transportive Power Of Reading

If you have a question you would like to ask Leslie about the news or the show, use #LesliesMailSack to ask in the comments and your question could be answered live on-air! Listen to The Topical: https://link.chtbl.com/TheTopical Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow...

Victoria’s Secret Closes After Concluding Women Were Never Hot Enough To Wear Their Underwear

The popular women’s beauty brand is closing for good and apologizing today for ever thinking a woman could be hot enough to pull off their lacey boy shorts or see-through nighttime slips. Listen to The Topical: https://link.chtbl.com/TheTopical Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion ...

Congress Announces Willingness To Give Black Lives Matters Protestors Statue Or Holiday

Lawmakers are finally taking action amid waves of police brutality, announcing their commitment to offer members of the BLM movement a nice memorial or plaque or day off work or something. Listen to The Topical: https://link.chtbl.com/TheTopical Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion ...

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