3 Reasons Why You Make Terrible Decisions (And How to Stop)

Everything you do in life is a trade-off. Anything you say, do, or pursue has a cost and a benefit. Those costs and benefits may not always be immediately apparent — sometimes the costs and benefits are dislocated in time, the benefit being immediate and the cost in the distant future. Sometimes the costs or benefits are subtle and psychological. But...

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6 Healthy Relationship Habits Most People Think Are Toxic

A while back I wrote a post titled 6 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship. In the months since I published it, the article has attracted a ton of comments–and you know it’s hit a nerve when big, grown-up websites who get paid to post smart grown-up things ask if they can copy/paste it, ostensibly to make a bunch of advertising money off people acting...

Jun 2020

3 Terrible Reasons to Get Married (And 4 Really Good Ones)

Years ago, I thought of myself as someone who would probably never get married. I thought I was just “wired” for relationships that were fun but ultimately short-lived. I dated a lot, slept around, and always had an exit strategy. Fast forward to today and as a happily married man, I’m honestly surprised by how easy it was for me to transition to a...

Jun 2020

9 Steps to Hating Yourself a Little Less

Let’s get real: If we’re really honest with ourselves, we all have a little self-loathing going on from time to time. OK, maybe a lot of self-loathing going on, depending on the degree of trauma you’ve sustained, and how many episodes of Teletubbies you were subjected to as a child. But here’s the good news, self-hatred is just part of the human...

Jun 2020

Why People Cheat in Relationships

I talk to a lot of people about their relationships. And a lot of these relationships are about as healthy as the Ebola virus: cold, distant, loveless, and flesh-eating. I hear the stories about the heartbreak and loneliness, the lying and cheating, and the pain. Always the pain. Inevitably, these conversations end with some form of the same question:...

Jun 2020

How to Make Sense of the Chaos and Uncertainty

It might seem impossible to make sense of a nation-wide racial revolt being dropped into the middle of a pandemic in a country that’s already seething with bitter cultural divides, but let’s try anyway. Don’t worry, I’m not going to get political here. Instead, I’d like to use this as an opportunity to walk you through how I go about processing extremely...

Jun 2020

5 Ways to Build Resilience and Conquer Adversity

A couple of weeks ago, I was doing market research on mental health apps, downloading anything onto my phone related to relieving stress, anxiety, depression, and so on. I wanted to see what’s going on in that part of the industry and if maybe I wanted to drop a bunch of money into a sinkhole trying to make one myself.  Most of the apps advertise themselves...

May 2020

Nobody Knows What Is Going On

I’m reposting the Monday newsletter on the site because I believe it’s important. It’s an effort to cut through a lot of the confusion and bullshit out there with regards to the current pandemic. Things have gotten contentious around the world with a lot of blaming, arguing, and finger-pointing going on. So, I’d like to use this as an opportunity to...

Apr 2020

What Love Is (And What it Isn’t)

We sit silently. My friend stares deeply into her empty glass, occasionally shuffling the ice around with her straw. “Wow,” she says. I sit and wait for her to say something else. What started out as a festive night somehow became a long, deep discussion about love, what it consists of, and how rare it actually is. Finally, I say, “Wow, what?” “I’m...

Apr 2020

Coronavirus: Surviving the Looming Mental Health Crisis

This morning I stayed in bed until nearly 11:30AM. Last night, I stayed up until 3 AM watching that mullet trainwreck of a documentary, “Tiger King”, on Netflix, allowing myself to be shocked and bamboozled into another episode, just one more episode… For the past two weeks, my sense of time and agency has completely gone out the window. Work usually...

Apr 2020